Hi. It’s me. It’s been a little while since we’ve spoken, and I’m not going to lie to you, things have been a little rough. I’ve had a bit of a creative block, and the last post I wrote and posted was in May. MAY! The things is, sometimes you just have to take a step back. That’s a lesson I’ve learned the hard way. Things are not going to be amazing 100% of the time, and that’s okay. Learning to deal with the ups and downs is just a part of life.
One of the questions people ask me a lot is how I’m so positive all the time. Well, the truth is I don’t. Yes, I’m a bubbly, glass half full, good vibes only type gal, but that’s like 85% of the time
The rest of the time, I have downs, and they’re hard. Days when I feel small and insignificant. Those downs when all I’m doing is feeding that awful voice in my head telling me I’m not enough. It makes it impossible to be creative and happy and everything else…
It’s also easy to forget sometime that social media only shows a curated version of people’s lives. Sure, it’s great and colorful and inspirational, but I do think it’s important to show the other side.
Yes, I’m a positive person, but I’m also human, and sometimes life gets me down, just like everyone else. There are ups and downs all the time.
I used to be one of those people who never took time off, and always had to be busy. If I was feeling low, or wasn’t feeling creative, I just pushed myself and forced myself to keep going.
That just hat the tendency to make everything worse!
When I did CBT a few years ago, it kind of showed me that putting pressure on myself to snap out of it only makes things worse. So I’ve not been putting any pressure on myself to create anything or write anything…
I’ve just been living life. Seeing my friends. Hanging out with my husband. Going to the gym. Enjoying good food. Watching movies I love.
Eventually, that creativity will come back and it will feel great, when it does, but for now, I’m just taking it one day at a time, and appreciating all the little things that bring me joy.
I am trying to do things to help inspire a bit of change. I started working out with a trainer to mix up my gym routine, which has already improved my mental health.
One thing I’ve been focusing on is a creative project involving my podcast, which I used to have attached to my newsletter. Big news there: it’s going solo! Having that to focus on, particularly the logistics, has helped me feel like I’m accomplishing something!
I’ve also been focusing on planning my trip home to NYC, which has been so nice. I’m working out what fun touristy things to do with my mother-in-law, who is joining us for the first week of our trip, and making plans with family and friends too!
After all this time, I am starting to feel more normal. It’s still very much about learning to balance the ups and downs; it’s taken some time, and life experience to really understand that!